Kwanele, Enough! by Andy Kawa

Author:Andy Kawa
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Tafelberg
Published: 2020-09-03T10:00:00+00:00

In a desperate attempt to avoid unbearable feelings, avoidance is used as an emotional numbing strategy. It often results in social distancing, losing interest in previously enjoyed activities or having trouble experiencing love and happiness. A further psychological defence, to resist becoming depressed or avoid a psychic reality or mental pain, is the development of a hypomanic defence, aimed at avoiding pain and believing oneself to be more capable, completely independent and invulnerable to pain.

To protect herself from the pain of grieving the multiple losses resulting from the trauma, feelings of helplessness, powerlessness and a total loss of interpersonal safety, Andy began to engage in a frenzy of creative activities and a lot of overseas travel. It could be more easily understood as an attempt to run away from pain and find a safe place to be, giving her a sense of completeness and personal safety, or just to feel okay.

It’s a way of running away from the fact that you feel like you are falling apart. It is a way of escaping into good to avoid feelings of destruction and disintegration. Being out of South Africa allowed Andy to escape painful emotions, feel safe, anonymous, and liberated, like she was living a normal life.

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